It's with a heavy heart......

Well its been a number of months since we've had to fire anybody....actually i didn't think we had anybody in our employ to fire!!!!  However after having to do some reviewing of our travel status to present.......we have decided that we have been led down one too many wrong roads.....led to one to many dead ends.....misdirected once to many times....With another driving day coming we had to weigh our options.....and it is with a heavy heart we have made our decision to let "GPS Susan" go.....Heavy heart my ass....we fired her ass....she's hideous, laughing at our every wrong road, dead end, and flat tyre.....Well i say to "GPS Susan", TOODLE-LOO!!  Find yourself some other poor saps to lead astray, but no use no more!!  Without further adou, we have shortlisted candidates for the position.....the newbie shall be disclosed after second round of interviews and we check references.  You will be notified as soon as it is done...we must hurry though, we bug out on the 18th....gotta go!!!

THE OTHER FLAT!!

Off I go into the little town of Willis to get my other flat tyre fixed.....hoping that this place will be better than the last...but that doesn't take much.  Drove up, was barely out of the car and a clean, well mannered mexican chap, in a uniformed shirt to state he works there, greets me....OMG!!  I tell him my story of whoe, into the shop I drive....off comes the tyre, dunk tank, proper marking of the tyre, over to the machines, knows how to do and inside tyre repair, WONDERFULL.   Gets it all done, back on the car....charges me a whole 8 american pesos...cheaper than the last joint, and i did not have to do the tyre repair myself....I leave driving back to the motorhome stunned that the whole procedure went according to plan...well, i fully expect it to be flat in the morning...somethings gotta be wrong....i need a drink to numb the shock of it all!!!

Flat tires!!!

So everyone knows my background with Firestone some years ago...so everyone knows i've seen my fair share of flat tires, never bothered me....but of course they was never "MINE"!!  Imagine my surprise when i walk outside of the motorhome and walla....car is leaning...i know all too well that look.  I search back into my memory banks how to deal with this tragic situation....i tell myself not to panic, things go wrong when you panic.  Slowly memory recall sets in, and within hours i have the tire changed over to the spare.  Now the fun bit, lets find a tyre shop.....ask the campground host and go into town on his directions, all the while setting myself up for the big scam.  Drive into what looks like a wrecking yard, got greeted by pitbulls and a stray cat, after a while two mexicans come out of the trailer and ask if i need help, "yes" i say, keeping a cool demeanor.  They take the flat from me...put it on the tyre machine and remove the valve stem.....i know i'm in trouble.....i says to the younger chaloopa "ummm..shouldn't you find out where its leaking from first before takin it off the rim?"  "se", he puts the valve stem back in, gives it some air and dunks it in the tank......we see bubbles right away and he goes to remove the tire from the tank....."sir,i say, should'nt you check the whole tyre in case there is more than one hole?"...."se" says he....luckily only one hole...i'm very nervous.  Removes the tyre and stares at the tyre for a long time, next thing older chaloopa comes over, stares at the tyre as well.  Then turns to me and says....wait for it....."senore, tyre cannot be saved!".....OOOHHH REEEAALLLY!, says i!  Of course these little chaloopas do not know my background, the little hole is clearly repairable and i let them know it with lots of technical garb that i barely understand.  Both stare at me in disbelief....i ask them to repair it....please i say.  Young chaloopa reaches into a drawer, i'm ready to duck for cover in case its a gun, he draws out an old cord style repair device...i look at him and ask what he gonna do with that, he says he gonna stick my tyre with some gooiy cord and tyre be fixed, i say no no, patch from inside please...he say he no not how!!!  Older chaloopa says take some time and be more expensive, i say i don't care, but something tells me to move to a different tactic.  I go out on a limb and ask them if i can pay them and repair the tyre myself!!!??  What a dumb way of getting a tyre fixed, but i don't think they know how to repair a tyre properly....older chaloopa says yes go ahead senore.  Whoa..!!  okay i look around and everything i need is there, but on top shelve and very dusty, like never been used, so i start doing a tyre repair on my own tyre....George would be proud of me!!, what blew me away is the chaloopas wanted to watch and explain what i was doing every step....ohhh great, i pay to do my own tyre repair and have to give lesson at the same time.....welcome to southern states i say to myself, things are done a little backwards....but all is good, pay them for my job well done, $12.00 american pesos, and off i go.......fast forward four weeks later and i come out of the motorhome and look at the car....its leaning....no, not what you think....leaning the other way this time.......ohh god, here we go again......I guess i know what kinda work to look for when i get home.....TYRE REPAIR ANYBODY???

Susan GPS Bitch!!

So we drive away from cute little town of Brownsville and off to Rockport Texas. We love travel days...todays is, according to Susan, 5.5 hours of drive...great as we look forward to our little ritual of a Bologna sandwich about half way with a cup of tea, keeps up the driving stamina. We have been driving for only half and hour and i notice that Susan has re calculated our time down to three hours remaining...Robert suggests that we just keep going and forgo the "ritual" Sandwich this time, i concur...drive on we do. Great drive, George W. has loaded up the state with lots of dough and they have taken care of the roads very well...."prepare to bear right ahead" Susan says....i look down the road with my excellent bat like vision and notice that there are yellow signs on either side of the hiway, lots of them. The Eagle travels best at exactly 62mph, very quiet, comfy and very manueverable, as some of you will know from some time back. "prepare to bear right". Quickly i notice the freeway ends...yes ENDS AS IN STOPS...QUITS...NO MORE...ENDED PERMANENTLY...there is no "bearing" going on here....quickly with ninja like speed i flick on the jake brake, hit the allison 3000 touch pad transmission pad to gear down....hit the brake treadle with all my weight i can muster!!!, remember, no sandwich to keep my exacting strength up, slowly the Eagle seems to take forever, finally after what seems like hours, it comes down to a stop inches from disaster!! I look over at Robert, he says "well, bear right!!, HARD!!". I swing all 60 feet of metal to the right and head off down the road. "in 2 miles you have reached your destination"....driving....driving..."in 800 yards you have reached your destination"....driving, slowing, jake brake, braking, shifting down...."you have reached your destination!!"...i pull over and shut the Eagle down.....pppssshhht (air brake speak for "stopped"). I look over at Robert puzzled, he looks at me and says, "nice Airport"...i respond looking past him..."need propane, theres the fueling plant!". I quietly put down the window, reach for the bitch and go to heave her ass out the window...just as i reel back, Robert grabs her from my slippery grasp, saving Susan from certain death this time!!! He suggests we drive down the road and look the old fashioned way for the address we require....driving....driving.....2 miles down the road, behold, our campground.....thanks be to Alla!! Stay tuned, something gotta change with this Susan GPS GIRLY!! Which by the way, Robert has placed in protective custody until i settle down!!